In My Humble Opinion...

Two words: GET REAL. Almost everyone has a TV.
If you think that the 300+ students in your school don't wake up to TV and go to bed with TV, climb out of your cave.
More and more religious schools are jumping on the bandwagon of not accepting students with a TV in their homes. What's the outcome? They're making people lie to get their kids into a school. If they don't lie, their children end up in the one school left that takes people with TVs in their houses, and every other person who applies, which may be a bad influence on otherwise wholesome kids. These kids are wholesome if their parents refused to lie.
I believe "honesty is the best policy." That's what G-d wants from us. He doesn't want us to lie. So why would these so-called religious schools MAKE PEOPLE LIE???
In all these Bais Yaakov schools, you mention Spongebob Squarepants, half the class perks up. You mention Arthur (which is on free TV), the kids start listing the other characters on the show. That means their parents had to lie to get them into a school with a bunch of other kids whose parents had to lie.
I understand TV is not the best form of entertainment. Once you accept the children knowing they have a TV, you can try to influence them otherwise, and teach them why TV is bad. Not just that it is.
So stop making people lie. Accept people with TVs, and take it from there.

This time of year also reminds me of summer camp, and why I am so glad I never went. My parents always offered it to me, and almost FORCED me to go, but I refused for good reason. Who the hell wants to spend 4 long, hot weeks in a sweltering bunkhouse with 8 other girls breathing in your face all day eating greasy food? Really. What's the appeal?
In general, I have a need for space. Something some girls consider foreign. Basically, just leave me alone for a few minutes. I can't be social 24/7. Even the best need to take breaks. I also need sleep. I can't talk all night and party until 3 a.m. and be up in time for the morning prayers. Besides, who needs a counselor breathing down your back making sure you participate in every activity? Don't I sound like fun to hang around in camp??

Also, laundry is a pain in the butt. There's no TV. No downtime. No ALONE time. No independence. You play sports that you don't like...blah, blah, blah.

Okay, so why didn't I go when I can be a counselor?
Many of the aforementioned reasons. The no space factor, the greasy food, the laundry, PLUS, (no offense) rotten, spoiled, bratty campers with attitudes to match their wardrobes. Who needs it?

I am quite satisfied with my summer experiences. 2 year olds. I try not to go over the age of 3, which is when they start giving attitude, (yep, they start young nowadays). I'd honestly rather change diapers than deal with bratty tweens, or worse: teens.

This time of year reminds me of my high school graduation. I sat there in my seat surrounded by my fellow graduates. As they announced the names, I mentally ordered myself not to trip while walking up to get my diploma. That was not enough to block out the announcements which lit a fire of anger inside me. The 5 preceding girls' names had little memos attached to their names, "______ _______, with honors...._______ ______, with honors...and it went on to "Me, [long pause]and continued _______ _______, with honors."
Thanks a lot lady! So not only did I want to burst out crying, think about my parents, and the other 15 people whose grades weren't announced in front of 300 people. We felt like garbage. I had to face my family in the audience after the ceremony. Nobody could forget that audible silence, which seemed to say, "She didn't achieve a 95 GPA, so she's stupid..." Well, I'm SO-RRY that I couldn't memorize every Gadol's lineage back to the Avos. And every female's maiden name along the line. The other girls must have also had tough critics to face. Can you imagine what shame, guilt, and anxiety fell over us? All that horrible negative, hurtful emotion-just to honor the smart kids who already know they're smart? They can read. They see their report card, is that not good enough?
I graduated from a class of 40. According to my calculations, which might not be accurate-for obvious reasons- 15 girls didn't graduate "with honors." In which case, keep your mouth shut. If it's the other way around, go right ahead, show off, especiallyt if I'm one of them, but when it's such a majority, SHUT UP.

Every block I walk, there is that stupid wooden wall around a house due to construction. Houses are constantly knocked down and rebuilt fancier and nicer than the guy next door. Never mind the ridiculous "keeping up with the Joneses" attitude that the Jews basically represent at this point. My focus is WHY. Why do these people feel the need to renovate constantly? Obvously, people are responsible do what is necessary to live in a respectable, presentable home that provides your family with comfort. If you need to add an extra bedroom because people are crowded, GO AHEAD. I'm talking to the people whose homes are already extravagant, but feel the need to make it fancier, and showier. What's the point? Once again, I do not know much about psychology, but my analysis is that these people are extremely unhappy with themselves. They truly want to grow and change on the inside, but simply do not know how, or figure it would be easier to do it externally. rather than quitting speaking Lashon Hora, add more $10,000 landscaping. That will fill that void for a few hours. So to me, all these houses just display insecurity and unhappiness. Yet another proof that money does not buy happiness.

For years, I wasn't allowed within a 1 mile radius of a movie theater because my school forbade it. That's a weak excuse, but that's for another day. There were many movies released that I saw the previews for on TV, but I wasn't allowed to go. Fine. I must admit that I learned self-control, and the fact that you can't always have instant-gratification. I waited those 6 months or whatever until the movie was released on video. Then I waited until it was a 5-night release instead of a 2-night one.
I was at a movie theater today. I saw a movie that I bet I would eventually buy/rent had I not seen it in theaters. guess what? It's the SAME movie, no matter where you see it. If anything, they put raunchier stuff on DVD than they show in the movie theater. What you see at home is the same picture as you'd see in the theater, only smaller, and the sound isn't as good. So why all the talk against movie theaters? Must I launch into the whole, "movies aren't the best thing for Jews anyway..." ? No? Good. Thanks.
I understand the environment is not great, and blah blah...it also depends on which movie you see...you get the point.

It seems like any Joe Schmo can write a book nowadays and have it published. I mean, just check out the clearance racks at Barnes & Noble. (By the way, it's "Noble"--neither plural nor possessive, so stop adding the "s")
Okay, that's mean. But think about it. Every day, there is a new book on the market from some new author...writing a book is no longer a feat. She wrote a book, he wrote a book...Unless you are J.K. Rowling, or one of those famous writers, you don't really matter. Unless of course, you're Madonna (proves my point) or a young child. Or you're ME.

It's kinda sad that I woke up this morning, looked at the date, and the first thing that came to mind was, "Hmm, The Olsen Twins turn 18 today." Oh, EXCUUUSE ME! Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen.
The irony of it all? All they did to land the role on Full House, which if not for that, they wouldn't be famous, was they didn't cry when they were held by strangers.
I admit, I was even a member of "Mary-Kate and Ashley's Fun Club." Eeeww. Now I am just plain disgusted. A ditsy set of twins less than a year younger than I am have billions and billions of dollars, yet are miserable. (Check out the Papparazzi pics) and Mary-Kate hasn't eaten since she was 10.
I even had their album, "Brother for Sale" I thought it was so great. Now thinking back, without even listening to it, I remember those children are tone deaf. Oh yeah, they're adults now. So now that they official own their corporation, and know how much money they have (they always claimed to have no idea, while the rest of the world just happens to know they're worth billions each) they can do some nice charity work. And feed a small country. Bit first, themselves.

I think if the companies that make generics update their packaging, their sales would increase. Some of those boxes look SO OLD! The fonts are so ugly and out of style, that I check the box-- and sure enough, it's copyright 1988. Nowadays, in such an image-concious society, nobody's buying hideous looking packaging. It's not appealing. (Actually, the people who actually care what the label looks like aren't buying genreics of anything for any reason)That's beside the point.

It's also important to realize that you can get away with some generic products, but not others. My brother wasn't feeling well one day, so I offered to get him some medicine from the medicine cabinet. I'm a good sister, right? I'm an even better sister-I ran out to Rite Aid to buy him some REAL medicine. Everything in our medicine cabinet was GENERIC! For the extra 50 cents, just buy the real thing. It's worth-- I don't know-- YOUR HEALTH!? Besides, these medications are often on sale in big drugstore chains, and with a manufacturor's coupon, it can be cheaper than the generic!

Tissues: This is my policy: If you MUST buy cheap tissues, leave those in the bathroom, and put the Kleenex or Puffs in the kicthen or bedrooms, where softness is more likely to be appreciated. Enough said about that one.

Deodorant: STAY AWAY. You know what I mean.

Pens: Maybe I only realized this because I am obsessed with writing, but cheap pens NEVER WORK! Bic is pretty reliable, and Paper Mate is okay. Those are always on sale!

Wite-out: The generics always CLUMP like bad mascara. Yuck.

Speaking of which, Make-up: They melt, clump, change colors, and anything else BAD.

I can seriously write pages about this, but hello-NERD!- so let me tell you what is OK to buy generic: Cotton balls, rubbing alcohol, Q-tips, and looseleaf paper. I can probably think up more, but you get the point. Be careful what you skimp on.

It's friggin hot! Go someplace air-conditioned!
After my class this morning, I bought an iced coffee to keep me cool on my walk home. After about 5 blocks, the ice was melted, and I was still sweating like a turkey on Thanksgiving. Then I passed some people enjoying ice cream. So I ran and got some frozen yogurt, which melted faster than I can eat it. And I was still hot. It's a hopeless case. No matter how much ice cream you eat, you'll still be hot. No matter how naked you are, you're gonna be hot. I noticed people in tanks and shorts, but they were also sweating like pigs and trying to keep cool with some water that warmed up the minute they left the store.
Then the "wind" blew HOT air on me! eew!
Just wait 'till it starts smelling like garbage.

At first I had the idea that your career is in the tubes if you're on a commercial, and they don't flash your name all over. Like in the L'Oreal commercials, they flash "Jessica Biel" across the screen throughout the thing, as if to say, "Look who we paid to endorse our products!" Now I realize it's the opposite. Heather Locklear? Who cares about her so much? That's why her name is on the screen in whatever she's endorsing. But in Halle Berry's commercials for Cover Girl if I'm not mistaken, you're expected to know who she is. In fact, on the Jell-o commercial, you only hear Bill Cosby's voice, and you know it's him. That's what I call famous. The Kelly Ripa commercials for Pantene Pro-V...who watches Live anyway? j/k. My favorite commercial-the one that planted the idea in my head that your career is BAD when you're in a commercial without the company forcing your name down the viewer's throat, is the one for the Crest Whitestrips. I'm probably the only idiot who noticed that one of the three girls sitting there is Brittany Daniel who once starred on Sweet Valley High. Poor kid had to do a commercial, WITH OTHER PEOPLE who are complete unknowns...I'm over it though. She's in a movie soon, I think. Ha.

Oh! That reminds me of the Glad girl starring as Janet in the Three's Company documentary thing. That was comical. For another day.

I was shopping for groceries today, minding my own business, like we all should. A woman came up to me and politely whispered, "I don't know if you realize, but your skin is showing." (My shirt had ridden up to expose 1 cm of my skin) "Thank you," I responded with a smile. Inside, I was furious.
She did it in a nice way, no doubt. She was even Dan L'Kaff Zechus, saying that maybe I didn't realize. I also noticed that she was dressed completely B'Tznius herself, which is extremely respectable. Nothing tight, nothing short, it was all good.
She's lucky I was polite. I know other girls that would have lashed out at her and told her that she should mind her own business, and work on herself before she tells others what to do. I think she did a nice thing by trying to up the Tznius in the commmunity. I just think she took a big risk.
Know any good hit men? j/k.

In my Bais Yaakov high school, one of my teachers presented an entire class based on the following statement: "If you watch TV, there is no possible way that you are a sprirtual person." She elaborated and explained that if a girl claims that she is not effected by what she sees on TV, she is not effected by the daily tragedies that Bnei Yisrael suffer. If the girl says she is affected by what's going on, then she is surely affected by TV. I was good. I kept my mouth shut for once. After all, she did say, "If there is anyone in this class who watches TV or listens to Goyish music, I don't want you in my class." Yeah- I'll just walk out. Duuuuhhh.
I understand that TV is definitely not ideal. We're in Galus, people. So just because I watch TV, that means I don't daven every day? I don't think about spiritual matters? I don't have a conscience? I don't have Derech Eretz? I don't dress B'Tznius? I don't value Torah? I definitely respect people that don't watch TV, but I am not interested in making that commitment.
Why is it so hard to believe that some people watch TV for entertainment value, or as an outlet from all this judgemental garbage?
Watching TV does not guarantee the absence of my spirituality or personal growth.

I am so addicted to this blog...last one for today. Really.

I've been told that slits are assur. That's for another day. I noticed, though, that there are many girls out there who refrain from wearing slits, but look even sluttier than they would if they would wear a slit. When a girl is walking around with a skirt that shows each butt cheek move as she does, (no exaggeration), her knees are exposed with every step, and she wears high heels that cause her (I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt-blame it on the shoes) to strut around like she's on a runway, a slit is looking pretty darn good at this point. I recently noticed a girl wearing a long black skirt with an 8" slit in the back, but she looked good and modest. She wasn't shouting, "look at me!!!" with her clothes, she was just walking. Plain walking. Don't get me started on the tops these girls wear! My conclusion: Just because you avoid slits, you're not that tzniusdik (modest)

P.S. Obviously, some people don't wear slits, or dress as described above. All the power to you!

I'm so sick of all this talk about the Internet being assur. The Jewish Observer published an issue illustrating the dangers of the internet, but the ads in that very issue contained websites for contact. Nice one. When an astute reader pointed out that tremendous inconsistency to them, the Jewish Observer released a statement that the internet is really Assur, but it is allowed for business ONLY. Come on. If you're SO frum that you think the internet is truly Assur, then you're frum enough to have enough Bitachon in Hashem that He will provide for you without the use of the internet.
The people that are allowed to use it for business have the same opportunity to look at pornography as the same guy who is doing it in an "Assur" way, by not using it "because he needs it for business."
So don't give me this "only for business" story.

Julia Roberts is pregnant with twins. Funny that they announced this today-the day after I had the idea to write about "Motherhood in Hollywood." I think this all started in 1996 when Madonna announced she was pregnant. Once her daughter Lourdes was born, and then Rocco in 2001, celebrity women took that as a license to have children. Look at the results: Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Marcia Gay Harden, Holly Marie Combs, Brooke Shields, Reese Witherspoon, Courteney Cox Arquette, Catherine Zeta Jones, Denise Richards, Kate Hudson, Debra Messing, Kate Moss, Calista Flockhart...and now Julia Robrets. Shocker. She has to keep up. Who's next? Sandra Bullock, I bet. Or Jennifer Aniston just so everyone will shut up about her having a baby already.
Who's complaining? Thanks to them, maternity clothes are finally wearable. The Gap Maternity line-a blessing from above.
My unprofessional psychoanalyis of this craze: All these famous women don't know who loves them for who they are, and not for their celebrity, their money or their bodies. If they have kids, they are loved unconditionally from someone. Their kids love them whether they're famous or not. I guess all those pets didn't cut it.